Diabetes versus My Siamese Twin

Having diabetes is like having a siamese twin that is a pain in the butt.  I’m driving along and see Carolina Cupcakes. I’m thinking “Yum” and my twin is saying “you should have an apple.”  A little bit further down the road I see  Skinny Dip ( stupid name for a frozen yogurt shop), and then I step on the brakes while my twin shouts “Have a carrot!” 

It’s a constant battle.  Ever since I was told “no more sugar” I’ve wanted sugar. I know that I should say “no” or turn the other way but my hands start shaking, my mouth starts salivating and my mind weakens.  For example, today. I just went for a 25 minute exercise walk.  Came home and my son offered me a piece of lemoncello cake. Instead of giving him a loud, definitive “no,” I said, “maybe later.”  The numbers for one slice: 49 carbohydrates, 450 calories! “Maybe later” arrived pretty quickly.  I shared a slice with my hubby who doesn’t need it either. After bolusing 2.75 units of insulin, I cried inside and asked myself “where is my siamese twin when I need her?”   Have a carrot! An apple! A pickle! or just suck your thumb – no carbs or calories there and the disgrace is the same.

I’m not sure about other diabetics and their struggles.  I assume theirs are similar.  Personally I’m getting very tired of food.  Too bad we can’t live on something else like flowers or grass (lawn). There’s plenty of that outside.  Too bad my body can’t sustain on telling 5 jokes a day…while making people laugh the humor feeds my body and soul.  Or movies, I love movies.  One movie a day will fill me up although that may trigger a junk food response. How about sports…one game in the afternoon and one at night. Yum.  No carbs or calories there. Wait a minute…a bottle of beer, peanuts! popcorn! cotton candy!

I suppose food is everywhere we go, at least in our country.  Or shall I say no matter what the activity, it will bring on a food response.  I was born that way.  When I cried I got food or a bottle of milk.  When I’m sick I “starve a fever and feed a cold.”  Even when I’m typing a report for work I think…”maybe I should take a break and go warm up some coffee and grab a cookie cause my blood sugar is low.”  Or maybe that’s just boredom.  Yep, food versus boredom.  I’ll drink to that! One O’douls please! (13 carbs).


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